HOLY CRAP!

So, a few days ago...ok wait, i need to give some context before i dive straight into POOP. at breakfast this morning with Leora and Amanda, i brought up how i took a lovely POO the other day, and it was so amazing, i wanted to start a blog about POOP. now, i'm not going to do that, but would anyone mind if a few of my posts were about them sometimes?? i didn't think so. only if they are UH-mazing of course. well in these posts, i will be referencing back to one of my favorite books of all times called, "whats your poo telling you?." by Josh Richmand and Anish Sheth, M.D. and you will often be surprised what your poo is saying back to you. yes, your poo talks back at you, so make sure you look before you flush, and try to understand it's feelings. now this poo that i took a few days ago was probably between Poo-phoria and Monster Poo aka lincoln log, the crowd-pleaser, double deuce, the five-minute diet. now you know when you have poo-phoria when it makes your entire body tingle, and it enhances your mode. "this poo can turn an atheist into a believer and is distinguished by the sense of euphoria and ecstasy that you feel throughout your body when this type of feces departs your system .The exhilaration from this defecation, large in volume but varying in form, is often accompanied by good bumps and even a little lightheaded-ness as the discharge of the toxins is completed. you feel energized, as if you just woke up from a great nap. to some it may feel like a religious experience, to others like and orgasm, and to a lucky handful it may feel like both." (W.Y.P.T.Y?)
Now the monster poo is just a gigantic shit pretty much. "you may wonder how did something that large come out of me?" i actually wonder this all the time. "you may feel the swelling of veins in your forehead and the beading of perspiration" (leora this might be the monsheen poo to you) "for a quick second, you may even consider summoning your friends to witness firsthand the greatness of your feat." (W.Y.P.T.Y.) actually, quite often i impress myself, i do sometimes want witnesses, but i do know the difference between right and wrong. sometimes.
well, with all that being said and all this poo talk, i might actually have a bowel movement, and most likely it will be an ANCIENT POO since its been a while.
XOXO,
minx